The internets makes you want to lock your doors at night

“It all started when he messaged me regarding information on my profile. It was mildly exciting, at least. We talked for a while, and eventually decided to meet. Things were pretty fantastic, he was nice, well mannered, and looked exactly like his picture. As time progressed he started complaining about me, as a whole. Which to me, generally indicates that we’re probably not going any further. So, I take my leave, and start hanging out with my friends more often. About a week before Valentine’s Day he calls me indicating to me that I’d been contacted by his friend over OKCupid, and that he “had my game.” Despite not knowing what he was talking about, I expressed my apologies, because he seemed genuinely upset. So, we make plans for Valentine’s, because I’m stupid (apparently.) I hate getting presents, they make me uncomfortable, I tell him as such. I drew my line in the sand, asked him to respect it, and he pissed on it. He got me roses, chocolate, and a giant stuffed dog. While, silly, ok, that’s at least reasonable. He also bought me the Galactic Edition of Spore. Equipped with new found migraine, we go to the movies. Which, ok, he’s a nice boy, he didn’t listen, whatever. Towards the end of the evening he abruptly tells me that he has boxing practice, and that he has to go. So, he takes me home, and he comes in for a few minutes where he informs me that if I decide to cheat on him, he can have me faded (e.g. jumped and/or killed.) He also goes further to tell me that I would not see it coming, and he’d probably have it done to me while I was leaving work. “But it’s ok baby, I know you’ll be faithful.” I didn’t even know he was my boyfriend.”

- Anonymous from OKcupid

I’m not even a girl and that scared the shit out of me. Oh and make sure you take down his plate number, he might be wanted in other states.